God will provide -- ah, if only He would till He does!

The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rosetwice. Everything had two shadows.

Steven Wright

The man of science is nothing if not a poet gone wrong.

George Meredith

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy.

Leo Tolstoy

Money enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want.

George Bernard Shaw

Living in a constant chase after gain compels people to expend their spirit to the point of exhaustion

Friedrich Nietzsche

He had no failings which were not owing to a noble cause to an ardent, generous, perhaps an immoderate passion for fame a passion which is the instinct of all great souls.

Edmund Burke

That's the real secret to job creation - not borrowing and spending more money in Washington.

Paul Ryan

I can't tell if a straw ever saved a drowning man, but I know that a mere glance is enough to make despair pause. For in truth we who are creatures of impulse are not creatures of despair.

Joseph Conrad

Life on board a pleasure steamer violates every moral and physical condition of healthy life except fresh air. It is a guzzling, lounging, gambling, dog's life. The only alternative to excitement is irritability.

George Bernard Shaw

I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics, anyway.

Mark Twain

My passion for ideas is not matched with a passion for partisan or electoral politics.

Jack Kemp