I got IRS records to finance what I wanted to do.

The pit of a theatre is the one place where the tears of virtuous and wicked men alike are mingled.

Denis Diderot

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

Robert A. Heinlein

If there is no Hell a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.

William A. Sunday

Man, being essentially active, must find in activity his joy, as well as his beauty and glory; and labor, like every thing else that is good, is its own reward.

Henry Benjamin Whipple

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven.

April Winchell

Science is built up of facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house.

Henri Poincare

When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport: when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity. The distinction between Crime and Justice is no greater.

George Bernard Shaw

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

Rodney Dangerfield

Happiness consists of three things; Someone to love, work to do, and a clear conscience.

Source Unknown

Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.

Quentin Crisp

If you believe in fate, believe in it, at least, for your good.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am not a literary man. I am a man of science, and I am interested in that branch of Anthropology which deals with the history of human speech.

Jim Murray