Most of my ideas just come out funny.

The Family of Fools is ancient

Benjamin Franklin

I am pessimistic about the human race because it is too ingenious for its own good. Our approach to nature is to beat it into submission. We would stand a better chance of survival if we accommodated ourselves to this planet and viewed it appreciatively instead of skeptically and dictatorially.

E.B. White

i had a dream when i was 22 that someday i would go to the region of ice and snow and go on and on till i came to one of the poles of the earth

Ernest Shackleton

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it the tree is the real thing.

Abraham Lincoln

Thank God I never got in a fight. All of the jock dudes hated me, but all of their girlfriends thought I was nice so they wouldn't touch me. It was infuriating to them.

Mark Hoppus

I were better to be eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetual motion.

William Shakespeare

My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?

Sloane Crosley

Old people love to give good advice to console themselves for no longer being able to set a bad example.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The difficulty is old, but none the less real. An omnipotent being who created a world containing evil not due to sin must Himself be at least partially evil.

Bertrand Russell

Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.

Francis Bacon

That, they never could lay their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never tolerate the idea of their wives laying their heads upon their pillows; that, they could never endure the notion of their children laying their heads on their pillows; in short , that there never more could be , for them or theirs , any laying of heads upon pillows at all , unless the prisioner's head was taken off.The Attorney General during the trial of Mr. Darnay

Charles Dickens

There are times when we must sink to the bottom of our misery to understand truth, just as we must descend to the bottom of a well to see the stars in broad daylight.

Vaclav Havel