I am more important than my problems.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Steven Wright

It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, First publi

It does seem so pleasant to talk with an old acquaintance who knows what you know. I see so many new folks nowadays who seem to have neither past nor future. Conversation has got to have some root in the past, or else you have got to explain every remark you make, and it wears a person out.

Sarah Orne Jewett

My sex life is terrible. My wife put a mirror over the dog's bed... Actually she did put the mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

Rodney Dangerfield

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.

Bobby Clarke

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when we look back everything is different.

C. S. Lewis

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Robert Orben

The notions of a young man of one or two and twenty,' said he, 'as to what is necessary in manners to make him quite the thing, are more absurd, I believe, than those of any other set of beings in the world. The folly of the means they often employ is only to be equalled by the folly of what they have in view.

Jane Austen

knowing is not enough,we must applywilling is not enough,we must do..

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is legal because I wish it.

Louis XIV

Brilliance is impossible without a touch of insanity.

Skyla Madi

The priests have so disfigured the simple religion of Jesus that no one who reads the sophistications they have engrafted on it, from the jargon of Plato, of Aristotle

Thomas Jefferson