I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

HOW CAN I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AFTER HEARING CARS LOVE SHELL?

Jerry Rubin

We enjoy the process far more than the proceeds.

Warren Buffett

Real obstacles don't take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze.

Barbara Sher

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

Russell Baker

I will not attack your doctrines nor your creeds if they accord liberty to me. If they hold thought to be dangerous - if they aver that doubt is a crime, then I attack them one and all, because they enslave the minds of men.

Robert Green Ingersoll

Pardon me, my friends, I have ventured to paint my happiness on the wall.

Friedrich Nietzsche

We take greater pains to persuade others we are happy than in trying to think so ourselves.

Confucius

The greatest happiness of the greatest number is the foundation of morals and legislation.

Jeremy Bentham

I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love.

William Blake

I like the fact that in ancient Chinese art the great painters always included a deliberate flaw in their work: human creation is never perfect.

Madeleine L'Engle

Religion is the opium of the people. He believed that, that dyspeptic little joint-keeper. Yes, and music is the opium of the people. Old mount-to-the-head hadn't thought of that. And now economics is the opium of the people; along with patriotism the opium of the people in Italy and Germany. What about sexual intercourse; was that an opium of the people? Of some of the people. Of some of the best of the people. But drink was a sovereign opium of the people, oh, an excellent opium. Although some prefer the radio, another opium of the people, a cheap one he had just been using. Along with these went gambling, an opium of the people if there ever was one, one of the oldest. Ambition was another, an opium of the people along with a belief in any new form of government. What you wanted was the minimum of government, always less government. Liberty, what we believed in, now the name of a MacFadden publication. We believed in that although they had not found a new name for it yet. But what was the real one? What was the real, the actual, opium of the people? He knew it very well. It was gone just a little way around the corner in that well-lighted part of his mind that was there after two or more drinks in the evening; that he knew was there (it was not really there of course). What was it? He knew very well. What was it? Of course; bread was the opium of the people. Would he remember that and would it make sense in the daylight? Bread is the opium of the people.

Ernest Hemingway

It's important for moms to have alone time. However, that's the first thing that goes on a busy day. Fortunately for me, because of my job, I have to find the time to do it. At least that's the way my mind sees it.

Cindy Crawford