Jeff Ross Quotes

A collection of quotes by Jeff Ross.

Jeff Ross is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and actor, best known for his sharp wit, roasting skills, and appearances on The Comedy Central Roasts. He was born on September 13, 1965, in Springfield, New Jersey. Ross began his comedy career in the late 1990s, performing in various clubs around New York City and gaining recognition for his quick and hilarious roasts of fellow comedians.

In 2002, Ross made his debut on Comedy Central's Roast series, where he became a regular fixture, roasting celebrities such as Hugh Hefner, Donald Trump, Bob Saget, and Charlie Sheen. His masterful ability to craft brutal yet humorous insults earned him the moniker "Roastmaster General."

Aside from his roast performances, Jeff Ross has made appearances in TV shows and films, including "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "Six Feet Under," and "The Aristocrats," among others. He has also released several comedy albums, including "Jeff Ross Roasts America" and "No Offense - Live from New Jersey."

Ross has expanded his talent as a writer, contributing to The New York Times, The Daily Beast, and The Huffington Post. He has also shown his philanthropic side by performing for the USO and hosting the annual Comedy Central special, "Roast of the Troops."

With his quick wit and unapologetic style, Jeff Ross has established himself as one of the most skilled roasters in the entertainment industry, continually delighting audiences with his razor-sharp humor.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Jeff Ross

Funny

When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is je

When I see a good singer, I get teary-eyed. Part of it is jealousy because all comedians are frustrated rock stars. That's a fact.

Jeff Ross

Jealousy

I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I

I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun of what they look like, but I'll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.

Jeff Ross

Alone

Athletes tend to have less of a sense of humor than most peo

Athletes tend to have less of a sense of humor than most people. They are heroes to so many. That might be part of it.

Jeff Ross

Humor

People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, a

People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People are busting each other's chops, and it's a sign of affection, truly. It's a true test of love and friendship: can you make a man laugh at himself? So what makes a good burn? Go after targets you love and respect. And hit 'em hard.

Jeff Ross

Friendship

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Jeff Ross

Funny

I'm a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her a

I'm a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her acting and I love her attitude. I just hope I never meet her in a dark alley.

Jeff Ross

Attitude

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, a

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

Jeff Ross

Funny

Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.

Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.

Jeff Ross

Humor