Quote by Robert Karen, Phd, Bottom Line P
Many people hold onto a grudge because it offers the illusion of power and a perverse feeling of security. But in fact, we are held hostage by our anger. It is never too late to forgive. But you can forgive too soon. I am especially wary of what I call saintly forgiveness. Premature forgiveness is common among people who avoid conflict. They're afraid of their own anger and the anger of others. But their forgiveness is false. Their anger goes underground. I define forgiving as letting someone back into your heart. This returns us to a loving state -- and not merely within the relationship -- we feel good about ourselves and the world. True forgiveness isn't easy, but it transforms us significantly. To forgive is to love and to feel worthy of love. In that sense, it is always worthwhile.
Summary
This quote highlights the psychological and emotional complexities of forgiveness. It suggests that holding onto grudges provides a false sense of power and security, but actually keeps us trapped in anger. The quote cautions against premature forgiveness, particularly what the author calls "saintly forgiveness," which may arise from a fear of conflict and bury underlying anger. True forgiveness, defined as allowing someone back into our hearts, leads to a state of love and self-worth. It acknowledges that forgiving can be difficult, but ultimately transformative, as it restores our ability to love and feel worthy of love, making it a worthwhile endeavor.
Topics
Forgiveness
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