There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Steven Wright

The Bible is clear - God's definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.

Billy Graham

This man, I thought, had been a Lord among wits; but, I find, he is only a wit among Lords!

Samuel Johnson

Roses just now predominate. There is a satisfying solidity about the bunches, a glorious abundance which, in a commodity so easily enjoyed without ownership, is scarcely credible. I feel no desire to own these huge aggregations of odorous beauty. It would be like owning a harem, one imagines.

William Mcfee

I have no desire to take all black people back to Africa there are blacks who are no good here and will likewise be no good there.

Marcus Garvey

The leader can never close the gap between himself and the group. If he does, he is no longer what he must be. He must walk a tightrope between the consent he must win and the control he must exert.

Vince Lombardi

The best way to know God is to love many things.

Vincent Van Gogh

Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Pope John XXIII

Katy was neither a Methodist nor a Masochist. She was a goddess and the silence of goddesses is genuinely golden. None of your superficial plating. A solid, twenty-two-carat silence all the way through. The Olympian's trap is kept shut, not by an act of willed discretion, but because there's really nothing to say. Goddesses are all of one piece. There's no internal conflict in them. Whereas the lives of people like you and me are one long argument. Desires on one side, woodpeckers on the other. Never a moment of real silence.

Aldous Huxley

You can really only enjoy life when you're extremely busy.

Josephine de La Baume

Design is directed toward human beings. To design is to solve human problems by identifying them and executing the best solution.

Ivan Chermayeff

Sometimes the gods have no taste at all. They allow sunrises and sunsets in ridiculous pink and blue hues that any professional artist would dismiss as the work of some enthsiastic amateur who'd never looked at a real sunset. This was one of those sunrises. It was the kind of sunrise a man looks at and says, 'No real sunrise could paint the sky Surgical Appliance Pink.'Nevertheless, it was beautiful.

Terry Pratchett, The Thief of Ti