My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

If, in looking at the lives of princes, courtiers, men of rank and fashion, we must perforce depict them as idle, profligate, and criminal, we must make allowances for the rich men's failings, and recollect that we, too, were very likely indolent and voluptuous, had we no motive for work, a mortal's natural taste for pleasure, and the daily temptation of a large income. What could a great peer, with a great castle and park, and a great fortune, do but be splendid and idle?

William Makepeace Thackeray

I am the lover's gift; I am the wedding wreath;I am the memory of a moment of happiness;I am the last gift of the living to the dead;I am a part of joy and a part of sorrow.

Kahlil Gibran

I hope my music sets up the platform for me to be able to do lots of things - to have a cowboy-boot line, maybe, or do a perfume or makeup deal.

Miranda Lambert

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. Theylay there and looked at each other. Their families came andtook them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence,they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to eachother. One of them looked at the other and said, So. What didyou think?

Steven Wright

When a man has not a good reason for doing a thing, he has one good reason for letting it alone.

Thomas Scott

Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it; no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it. The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which seeks to understand the minds of other men and women; the spirit of liberty is the spirit which weighs their interests alongside its own without bias; the spirit of liberty remembers that not even a sparrow falls to earth unheeded; the spirit of liberty is the spirit of Him who, near two thousand years ago, taught mankind that lesson it has never learned, but has never quite forgotten; that there may be a kingdom where the least shall be heard and considered side by side with the greatest.

Judge Learned Hand

This isn't all true.

Steven Wright

The lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of a weak, vacillating mind. Opportunities! Every life is full of them. Every newspaper article is an opportunity. Every client is an opportunity. Every sermon is an opportunity. Every business transaction is an opportunity -- an opportunity to be polite -- an opportunity to be manly -- an opportunity to be honest -- an opportunity to make friends.

Orison Swett Marden

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Steven Wright

This, then, is the test we must set for ourselves not to march alone but to march in such a way that others will wish to join us.

Hubert H. Humphrey

I was a happy kid up until I hit the teen years.

Rick Springfield

A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.

Napoleon Bonaparte