Quote by Sidney Jourard, The Transparent
If we want to be loved, we must disclose ourselves. If we want to love someone, he must permit us to know him. This would seem to be obvious. Yet most of us spend a great part of our lives thinking up ways to avoid becoming known.Indeed, much of human life is best described as impersonation. We are role players, every one of us. We say that we feel things we do not feel. We say things we did not do. We say that we believe things we do not believe. We pretend that we are loving when we are full of hostility. We pretend that we are calm and indifferent when we are actually trembling with anxiety and fear.Of course we cannot tell even the people we know and love everything we think or feel. But our mistakes are nearly always in the other direction. Even in families -- good families -- people wear masks a great deal of the time.
Summary
This quote highlights the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships. It suggests that in order to be loved, we need to reveal our true selves. Similarly, to truly love someone, we must allow them to open up and share who they are with us. It points out that much of human existence involves pretending, hiding our genuine emotions, thoughts, and beliefs. While it acknowledges the necessity of boundaries and selective disclosure, it cautions against constantly wearing masks even among close family members. The quote challenges us to strive for deeper connections by embracing our true selves and encouraging others to do the same.
Topics
Relationships
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