Well, if I am not vulgar, neither is my book. I wrote myself. Suggestiveness is always vulgar. But truth never. My book is not even remotely suggestive. I call things by their names. That is all.

You have already failed if you need a lot of inspectors.

Source Unknown

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

Carol Burnett

I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to explain to Zoe one of the very saddest notions in love and life: sometimes the timing is wrong--and sometimes you realize the heart of the matter way to late in the game.

Emily Giffin

We fight, get beat, rise, and fight again.

Nathanael Greene

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

Rodney Dangerfield

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.

Todd Solondz

Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.

Tryon Edwards

Nine requisites for contented living: Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor.Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.

Johann von Goethe

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.

Janet Evanovich

Everyone dreams, but not everybody remembers their dreams because some people go into delta they go too low.

Sylvia Browne

Our friends don't see our faults, or conceal them, or soften them.

Joseph Addison

I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come.

Michael Jordan