Erma Bombeck Quotes

A collection of quotes by Erma Bombeck.

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist and syndicated newspaper columnist, born on February 21, 1927, in Bellbrook, Ohio. She gained widespread recognition for her witty and relatable observations on the everyday trials and tribulations of suburban family life.

After earning a degree in English from the University of Dayton, Bombeck worked as a reporter for local newspapers before making the leap to a nationally syndicated column. Her column, titled "At Wit's End," was first published in 1965 and quickly gained a devoted following, ultimately reaching over 30 million readers through more than 900 newspapers.

Known for her ability to capture the humor in mundane situations, Bombeck's writing often touched on the challenges of motherhood, marriage, and household management. Her trademark self-deprecating humor endeared her to readers across the country, garnering her numerous accolades and best-selling book deals.

Throughout her career, Bombeck authored 12 books, many of which became instant successes and topped bestseller lists. Some of her most famous works include "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank," "If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?," and "I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression." Her humorous yet heartfelt insights into the realities of family life resonated with readers of all ages and backgrounds.

Erma Bombeck passed away on April 22, 1996, leaving behind a captivating legacy that continues to entertain and inspire readers today.

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn'

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn't stop us from wiping it away with a wet sponge. The Divine doesn't disappear; it's transformed into the clean surface.

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn'

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn't stop us from wiping it away with a wet sponge. The Divine doesn't disappear; it's transformed into the clean surface.

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn'

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn't stop us from wiping it away with a wet sponge. The Divine doesn't disappear; it's transformed into the clean surface.

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn'

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn't stop us from wiping it away with a wet sponge. The Divine doesn't disappear; it's transformed into the clean surface.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed the

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Women

Children make your life important.

Children make your life important.

Life

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Sports

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me no

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Home

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a cert

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

Courage

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. T

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Courage

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Family

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a si

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years

Parenting

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an auto

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

Car

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Car

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Morning

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Family

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without r

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

Society

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Car

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest i

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

Men

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Doctors