David Letterman Quotes

A collection of quotes by David Letterman.

David Letterman is a renowned American television host, comedian, and producer. Born on April 12, 1947, in Indianapolis, Indiana, he gained fame as the host of the late-night talk show "Late Night with David Letterman" on NBC from 1982 to 1993, and later "The Late Show with David Letterman" on CBS from 1993 to 2015. Known for his sharp wit, sarcasm, and unique interviewing style, Letterman played a significant role in shaping the modern late-night talk show format. He received numerous awards and accolades throughout his career, cementing his status as a television icon.

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis. Advice to his guests

David Letterman

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

David Letterman

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.

David Letterman

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

David Letterman

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

David Letterman

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the bird

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

David Letterman

There's no business like show business, but there are severa

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it jus

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk

I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.

David Letterman

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health wa

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

David Letterman

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefi

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

David Letterman

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward,

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

David Letterman

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

David Letterman