Jenny Eclair Quotes

A collection of quotes by Jenny Eclair.

Jenny Eclair is an English comedian, author, and actress. Born on March 16, 1960, in Malaysia, she began her career in comedy during the 1980s and later rose to fame as the winner of the first-ever Perrier Comedy Award at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 1995. Eclair has since appeared on numerous television shows and radio programs, including as a regular panelist on Loose Women. In addition to her comedy work, she has written several successful books, both fiction and non-fiction. Eclair continues to entertain audiences with her unique humor and wit.

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing

I was trained as an actress. But I wasn't a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world

I admire the Elsie Tanners and Barbara Windsors of the world: people who have crawled back from the abyss. I'm quite camp in that respect.

Respect

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that fun

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

Funny

I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of m

I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.

Fear

I think I might actually die of showing off. It'll be on my

I think I might actually die of showing off. It'll be on my headstone - 'Cause of Death: Showing Off.'

Death

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of cre

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

Home

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been insp

I'm very jealous of my daughter's education. She's been inspired by her teachers, and nobody inspired me as a teenager.

Education

After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970

After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.

Dad

What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I

What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organise everything for me. I don't want to do things on the Internet.

Travel

I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don

I don't do marriage. I think it's incredibly naff. And I don't like vulgar displays of ostentation.

Marriage

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.

Dad