Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.
Fuck rational thought
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
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