The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.
If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.
You never know how short a month is until you pay alimony.
You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone but sometimes it is a great relief.
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.
My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
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