No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.

Summary

In this quote, the speaker highlights that grief can evoke a sensation similar to fear. While not experiencing literal fear, the emotional and physical sensations are reminiscent of being afraid. Feelings of restlessness, unease, and a fluttering sensation in their stomach are present. The speaker likens it to being mildly drunk or concussed, as there is a disconnection from the world and difficulty in absorbing information or engaging with others. They crave companionship but also dread being alone, preferring others to communicate amongst themselves rather than directly engaging with them.

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