I'm not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I'm really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public.

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

Rodney Dangerfield

Lexicographer: a writer of dictionaries, a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words.

Samuel Johnson

Keep breathing.

Sophie Tucker

Man is insatiable for power; he is infantile in his desires and, always discontented with what he has, loves only what he has not. People complain of the despotism of princes; they ought to complain of the despotism of man.

Joseph De Maistre

If you're lucky enough to be involved in a film that's about something very real and that you hope will continue to hold up in 20 years' time it just gives you more energy and makes it feel all the more worthwhile.

Eric Bana

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Imelda Marcos

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.

Andrew Carnegie

I like all kinds of music. I listen to Abigail Washburn, the Punch Brothers, and Marc Johnson, the great clawhammer player. I also listen a lot to Sirius Radio, there's a lot of bluegrass there.

Steve Martin

Everybody does stupid things in life. Some of us more than others. You think you're going to get away with it. Or one or both of you just stop thinking. But it happens. And when it does, you can keep drinking it like poison, or you can put it behind you and go make the most of the rest of your life.

Claire Cook

He is born in vain, who having attained the human birth, so difficult to get, does not attempt to realise God in this very life

Ramakrishna

You can't rely just on talent to win.

Scott Young

What is life? A frenzy. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a fiction. And the greatest good is trivial; for all life is a dream and all dreams are dreams.

Pedro Calderon de la Barca