When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair.

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four

George Orwell

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

Will Rogers

Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. I have read and heard many attempts at a systematic account of it, from materialism and theosophy to the Christian system or that of Kant, and I have always felt that they were much too simple. I suspect that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of, or can be dreamed of, in any philosophy.

J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds:

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but Democrats believe every day is April 15.

Ronald Reagan

Though it make the unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve.

William Shakespeare

Fashion is made to become unfashionable.

Coco Chanel

...madaming teacher sa labas ng eskwelahan. desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo.

Bob Ong

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

Margaret Cho

I decided at 15 that I didn't want to be one of those artists that gets up and sings love songs they don't mean. I decided that I was going to be me to the fullest extent, that my songs were going to reflect relationships I've had, things I've been through, and even the stuff I'm embarrassed about.

Pink

Allowing yourself to smile takes 99% of the effort.

Simon Travaglia

Say what you like about my bloody murderous government,' I says, 'but don't insult me poor bleedin' country.

Edward Abbey

In the world we live in everything militates in favor of things that have not yet happened, of things that will never happen again.

Andre Breton