I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

It is what we think we know already that often prevents us from learning.

Claude Bernard

It is hardly surprising that children should enthusiastically start their education at an early age with the Absolute Knowledge of computer science; while they are unable to read, for reading demands making judgments at every line. Conversation is almost dead, and soon so too will be those who knew how to speak.

Guy Debord

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

H. L. Mencken

My dad liked to boil a squirrel head and suck the brains out the nose. Smaller than a chicken, bigger than a rat.

Beth Ditto

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Graham Norton

If you say, I'm for equal pay, that's a reform. But if you say. I'm a feminist, that's a transformation of society.

Gloria Steinem

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

Dan Quayle

To believe in God is impossible; not to believe in Him is absurd.

Voltaire

Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.

Ross Presser

If you love somebody, you love them. My parents had a 25-year age gap between them and my mum was the breadwinner, my dad the house husband. I'm a strong believer that a good relationship can work, whatever the situation.

Katherine Jenkins

Every man feels instinctively that all the beautiful sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action.

James Russell Lowell

I'm sorry. I know you loved her. It was hard not to.

John Green