...the object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war.

Aye, I'm tellin' ye, happiness is one of the few things in this world that doubles every time you share it with someone else.

Harry Lauder

My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.

Rodney Dangerfield

Your days are short here this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came.

Adlai E. Stevenson

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up... persisting... eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

Anthony Robbins

A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted by android Barbie creep. All those thick swatches of lifeless strands clustering lankly round ladies' necks! Like orange tanning spray, this is a fashion fad that should be put out of its misery.

Camille Paglia

If it is once again one against forty-eight, then I am very sorry for the forty-eight.

Margaret Thatcher

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.

Rodney Dangerfield

Thought you could kill my Snow-on-the-Mountain, did you? Well, Jessie says that the top's growing back out. Next time you'll know how to do it right, won't you? You'll pull it up by the roots, won't you?

Harper Lee

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100, 000 short.

Mickey Rooney

It is hard for any one to be an honest politician who is not born and bred a Dissenter.

William Hazlitt

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed -- and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.

John Dawkins

Jake was close to tears. In that moment he saw the world in its true light, as a place where nothing had ever been any good and nothing of significance done: no art worth a second look, no philosophy of the slightest appositeness, no law but served the state, no history that gave an inkling of how it had been and what had happened. And no love, only egotism, infatuation and lust.

Kingsley Amis