I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor.

A funeral is not death, any more than baptism is birth or marriage union. All three are the clumsy devices, coming now too late, now too early, by which Society would register the quick motions of man.

E. M. Forster

Autumn wins you best by this its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay.

Robert Browning

I am for gay marriage. Or same-sex marriage. I don't want to say it the wrong way. I think people are sensitive to it. I have been painted as being this right-wing zealot on choice. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Harold Ford

No society has been able to abolish human sadness, no political system can deliver us from the pain of living, from our fear of death, our thirst for the absolute. It is the human condition that directs the social condition, not vice versa.

Eugene Ionesco

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.

Matsuo Basho

People won't have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.

Stephen Hawking

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand

Hayley Williams

I have always found it quaint and rather touching that there is a movement [Libertarians] in the US that thinks Americans are not yet selfish enough.

Christopher Hitchens

Today I dialed a wrong number...The other person said, Hello? and I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey?...They said, Uh...I don't think so...he's only 2 months old. I said, I'll wait.

Steven Wright

Don't you go believing in sayings, Picotee: they are all made by men, for their own advantages. Women who use public proverbs as a guide through events are those who have not ingenuity enough to make private ones as each event occurs.

Thomas Hardy

Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

L.M. Montgomery

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself.

George Bernard Shaw