I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.

Look, the center right coalition in American politics today is best understood as a coalition of groups and individuals that on the issue that brings them to politics what they want from the government is to be left alone.

Grover Norquist

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

P. J. O'Rourke

Perhaps our originality manifests itself most strikingly in what we do with that which we did not originate. To discover something wholly new can be a matter of chance, of idle tinkering, or even of the chronic dissatisfaction of the untalented.

Eric Hoffer

I warn you against believing that advertising is a science.

William Bernbach

Men know that women are an over-match for them, and therefore they choose the weakest or most ignorant. If they did not think so, they never could be afraid of women knowing as much as themselves.

Samuel Johnson

What I do for a living is talk. What I do for life is action.

Steve Maraboli

Having a track record to live up to and the history of successes had become a hindrance. It becomes harder to break out of what people expect you to do.

Paul Simon

I've also long since realized that the way to really engage children is to give out prizes it's amazing how it concentrates their minds.

Alexander McCall Smith

Little by little does the trick.

Aesop

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

Ian Hislop

School is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Billie Joe Armstrong

How does one craft happiness out of something as important, as complicated, as unrepeatable and as easily damaged as life?

Sonya Hartnett