Ron White Quotes

A collection of quotes by Ron White.

Ron White, born on December 18, 1956, in Fritch, Texas, is a renowned American stand-up comedian and actor. Known for his unique style and charismatic stage presence, he has achieved immense success in the world of comedy.

White rose to prominence in the early 2000s as part of the highly successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour, alongside fellow comedians Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy. His witty one-liners, satirical observations, and deep, resonating voice quickly made him a fan favorite. White's distinctive storytelling often revolves around his adventures, personal experiences, and indulgences involving alcohol and cigars.

Beyond his stand-up career, Ron White has also ventured into acting. He has appeared in several movies and TV shows, including the critically acclaimed sitcom "Reno 911!" and the hit film "Horrible Bosses." White has released multiple comedy albums and specials, the most notable being "Drunk in Public," "You Can't Fix Stupid," and "They Call Me Tater Salad."

With his dry, quick-witted humor and captivating performances, Ron White has carved a niche for himself in the comedy industry. He continues to entertain audiences worldwide with his unique brand of humor, making him an enduring figure in the world of comedy.

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonadethen find so

I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonadethen find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.

Life

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find som

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!

Humor Funny Inspirational Party

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I g

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

Diet

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

Death

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used t

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

Dad

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.

Good

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

Truth

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure.

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.

Work

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

Work

Reporters used to be blue-collar at the Globe now, it's prac

Reporters used to be blue-collar at the Globe now, it's practically required that you have a trust fund.

Life

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a coll

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.

Great

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it soun

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

Great

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Funny

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that'

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

Good