Drinking Quotes

Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.

Robert A. Heinlein

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Dan Castellaneta

Champagne does have one regular drawback: swilled as a regular thing a certain sourness settles in the tummy, and the result is permanent bad breath. Really incurable.

Truman Capote, Answered Prayers

A new morality has burst upon us with some violence in connection with the problem of strong drink; and enthusiasts in the matter range from the man who is violently thrown out at 12.30, to the lady who smashes American bars with an axe. In these discussions it is almost always felt that one very wise and moderate position is to say that wine or such stuff should only be drunk as a medicine. With this I should venture to disagree with a peculiar ferocity. The one genuinely dangerous and immoral way of drinking wine is to drink it as a medicine. And for this reason: If a man drinks wine in order to obtain pleasure, he is trying to obtain something exceptional; something he does not expect every hour of the day; something which, unless he is a little insane, he will not try to get every hour of the day. But if a man drinks wine in order to obtain health, he is trying to get something natural; something, that is, that he ought not to be without; something that he may find it difficult to reconcile himself to being without. The man may not be seduced who has seen the ecstasy of being ecstatic; it is more dazzling to catch a glimpse of the ecstasy of being ordinary.

G. K. Chesterton, from

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

Oscar Wilde

If I show up on your doorstep don't worry I'm just there to party.

Kenny D. Eichenberg

He stopped complaining, but now I was annoyed. I went to the roof and drank alone.

Haruki Murakami

Lead's erasing then vanishingBanished from whatever it is they're drinking and it's cleanedRunning from the pitcher as if it's her fantasy

Criss Jami

Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness

Bertrand Russell

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance

William Shakespeare

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.

Mark Twain

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

Oscar Wilde

I am grieved that it should be said he is my brother, and take these courses. Well, as he brews, so shall he drink, for George again. Yet he shall hear on't, and tightly, too, an' I live, i'faith.

Ben Johnson, Every Man In His Hu

I'm going out for a bottle of champagne. We're going to get bombed.

Stephen King

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 14 days I lost two weeks.

Joe E. Lewis

prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into

Don Marquis

A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel; he drinks no wine

William Shakespeare

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

Robert Benchley

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

Robert Benchley

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

Jimmy Breslin