Funny Quotes

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

Charles Chaplin

Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.

David Wong

If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.

Jasper Fforde

1980's: not a time period but a state of mind.

Carrie Vaughn

People are disposable.

Terina Burr

Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

Maureen Johnson

While Owen and Miles talk sports, I people watch. And this is what I see: teenagers trying to act like adults. Or how they think adults act. But mostly they look ridiculous, and I wonder what they don't want to do something that's more fun than drinking, smoking, flirting, and making out. Why are those activities considered to be fun?

Melody Carlson

Humor is the whole truth.

Frigyes Karinthy

Hope implies that you think you have a chance at something.

Richelle Mead

Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?

Ally Condie

No more creepy online alter egos in the name of love.

Elizabeth Rudnick

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.?

Jarod Kintz

Dance in the rain, follow the path of lovely lanes, you are what you always wanted to be, so chill out, dear friend!

Santosh Kalwar

If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.

Taylor Swift

You gotta want it.

Bill Murray

Smartass Disciple: Master, I believe that the truth will prevail at the end.Master of Stupidity: No 'the end' for the truth. 'Prevail' is something else.

Toba Beta

Break ups aren't fair. Why does only one person have power? We both agreed to start dating. Why do you get to make the decision to end it? Shouldn't it be a joint decision too? Relationships aren't a democracy. Not everyone gets an equal vote.

Alyssa Rose Ivy

Her sculptured face was as perfect as a painting.

Christopher Paolini

love is a chewing gum, if sweetness gone its the end of your love story

rikzy jesuli

It's just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it's time to take down the drapes and make a new dress.

Karen Marie Moning