Funny Quotes

All this talk about artificial intelligence is really just hype, it will take at least fifty years before we have to let them vote.

Kenneth Boulding

I must confess that most modern mysticism seems to me to be simply a method of imparting useless knowledge in a form that no one can understand

Oscar Wilde

Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.

Terry Pratchett

In fact we put so many things in our mouths we constantly have to be reminded what not to eat. Look at that little package of silicon gel that's inside your sneakers. It says DO NOT EAT for a reason. Somewhere sometime some genius bought a pair of sneakers and said Ooooh look. They give you free mints with the shoes

Morgan Spurlock

Go slowly, so that you do not bite your tail by accident.

Christopher Paolini

Each one of us comes out of our mother's body crying, with or without exceptions. But we are not aware of it. Are you? Do you remember that you cried the very first time you come out of your mother's body? If not, then why are you crying now?

Santosh Kalwar

A women can run, hide, play and have fun but she will shine far better when she just smiles without none.

Santosh Kalwar

The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt.

Jarod Kintz

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

Stephen Colbert

A real scientist solves problems, not wails that they are unsolvable.

Anne McCaffrey

You silly Arthur! If you knew anything about...anything, which you don't, you would know that I adore you. Everyone in London knows it except you. It is a public scandal the way I adore you. I have been going about for the last six months telling the whole of society that I adore you. I wonder you consent to have anything to say to me. I have no character left at all. At least, I feel so happy that I am quite sure I have no character left at all.

Oscar Wilde

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.

Jef Mallett

If your treated like a puppet find a new ball of string

Benny Bellamacina

No one can know your strength and weakness better than yourself.

Rahul Kumar Tilwani

Gwynned lies two days westwards; still further south, the weregeld calls. Mayhap with All-Father Woden's favour, my deeds may yet inspire the skalds.

George Gordon Byron

Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.

H.L. Mencken

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.

Terry Pratchett

Whatever demon invented stiletto-heeled boots should roast in hell...

Cherise Sinclair

Our Euripides the human,With his droppings of warm tears,and his touchings of things common Till they rose to meet the spheres.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.

Jarod Kintz