Funny Quotes

The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.

Jarod Kintz

If humor and rumor are needed more than faith and truth, then it tells me something about the kind of world we live today.

Toba Beta

Love is as old as time, though it is considerably more difficult to stuff inside a watch.

Jarod Kintz

Even though its common knowledge these days, it never ceases to amaze me that all the richness of our mental life - all our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts, our ambitions, our love life, our religious sentiments and even what each of us regards us his own intimate private self - is simply the activity of these little specks of jelly in your head, in your brain. There is nothing else.

V.S. Ramachandran

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Mervyn Peake

The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Going down in history is a dead end pursuit

Benny Bellamacina

There is no animal more invincible than a woman,

Loretta Chase

I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world's a stage and I'm a lousy actor!

Greg Curtis

Twelve dead? I said. Jesus.

Dennis Lehane

There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label

Josh Stern

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

Ellen DeGeneres

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts.

Tim Minchin

It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I was living in New York, and I really enjoyed acting at the time. Also, it's funny because that was also the time when I went downhill.

Mickey Rourke

Do you remember his science project, Harry Sue, on the trajectory of spitballs? I tell you, that modest little display taught our students more about physics than I could accomplish in a weeklong unit at the middle school

Sue Stauffacher

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Laurie Notaro

Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships.

Sacha Baron Cohen

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!

Chuck Palahniuk

Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes

Benny Bellamacina

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

W.C. Fields