Funny Quotes

I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and make choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day.

Matthew Lillard

For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot.

Gordon Korman

All we know of the Missing Link is that he is missing - and he won't be missed either.

G.K. Chesterton

Menurut survei: selain narik becak dan gali kubur, pekerjaan mengkhayal dan menulis ternyata juga butuh asupan kalori tinggi. (Perahu Kertas)

Dee

Fuck rational thought

George Carlin

Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.

Oliver Hassencamp

I walk up and down the rows. The heads look like rubber halloween masks. They also look like human heads, but my brain has no precedent for human heads on tables or in roasting pans or anywhere other than on top of a human bodies, and so I think it has chosen to interpret the sight in a more comforting manner. - Here we are at the rubber mask factory. Look at the nice men and woman working on the masks.

Mary Roach

I have a thing for evil bald bad guys. The Kurgan is too sexy.

Ernest Cline

As someone who grew up in the Bronx, I certainly learned my share of four-letter words, but none are more powerful than nice.

Linda Kaplan Thaler

Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you.

Salman Aditya

Also unfortunately, Congress is far too busy asking if baseball players are really as strong as they seem and trying to choke bankers with wads of cash to grant more funds to such trifling matters as the avoidance of space bullets, so they won't give NASA the money

Robert Brockway

one blow in anger [would] kill, probably, a child from aged two to eight. Those over eight would take two blows to kill.

Patricia Highsmith

I want to take ye to bed. In my bed. And I mean to spend the rest of the day thinking what to do wit ye once I got ye there. So wee Archie can just go and play at marbles with his bollucks, aye?

Diana Gabaldon

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help.

Alex Haley

Life's a shit sandwich, my ass. Life's a polka and don't you forget it!

Wally Lamb

You cannot discover new oceans until you are willing to lose sight of the shore.

Sharon Leaf

You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.

Barney Stinson

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

Gary Larson

I don't like it when I outweigh my men.

Patricia Briggs

She's SINGLE doesnt really mean she's AVAILABLE.She's IN A RELATIONSHIP doesnt really mean she's NOT INTERESTED.She's ENGAGED doesnt really mean IT'S OVER.IT'S JUST COMPLICATED untill she's MARRIED!

Emmanuel Aghado