Humor Quotes

A brilliant epigram is a solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.

Lionel Strachey

Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it; most people aim at it, all people fear it, and few love it unless in themselves. A man must have a good share of wit himself to endure a great share of it in another.

Lord Chesterfield

A wise man will live as much within his wit as within his income.

Lord Chesterfield

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Will Durst

A joke is a very serious thing.

Winston Churchill

If the blood humor is too strong and robust, calm it with balance and harmony.

Xun Zi

I try to bring it across on my record, in my dress, in what I do and what I say because to me humor is important. You should have a dose of that and I guess giving it is what I'm here for.

Bootsy Collins

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Mark Twain

A good sense of humor will get you everywhere.

Josh Bowman

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? Idon't get it...

Steven Wright

Avoid stock expressions (like the plague, as William Safire used to say) and repetitions. Don't say that as a boy your grandmother used to read to you, unless at that stage of her life she really was a boy, in which case you have probably thrown away a better intro. If something is worth hearing or listening to, it's very probably worth reading. So, this above all: Find your own voice.

Christopher Hitchens

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

Ambrose Bierce

It is said that whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

Terry Pratchett