Tim Allen Quotes

A collection of quotes by Tim Allen.

Tim Allen is an American comedian, actor, and television personality. He was born on June 13, 1953, in Denver, Colorado. Allen began his career as a stand-up comedian in the 1980s, utilizing his unique brand of observational humor. He gained significant recognition after his performance on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" in 1989.

In 1991, Allen rose to prominence as the star of the hit television sitcom "Home Improvement," where he played the role of Tim Taylor, a bumbling yet lovable TV show host. The show became immensely popular and ran for eight seasons, earning Allen numerous awards and a devoted fan base.

Alongside his success on television, Allen ventured into the world of film. He achieved significant acclaim for his role as Buzz Lightyear in the animated "Toy Story" franchise, which further solidified his status as a household name. He continued to showcase his versatile talent by portraying various characters in both comedy and drama films.

Throughout his career, Allen has been recognized with multiple awards, including a Golden Globe Award and numerous People's Choice Awards. Beyond his professional life, Allen is known for his love of cars and his passion for racing. Additionally, he has been involved in various charitable endeavors, including his work with veteran support organizations.

Tim Allen remains an influential figure in the entertainment industry and continues to entertain audiences with his humor and acting abilities.

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever.

Tim Allen

Marriage

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.

Tim Allen

Best

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

Tim Allen

Marriage

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn'

We can see the Divine in each speck of dust, but that doesn't stop us from wiping it away with a wet sponge. The Divine doesn't disappear; it's transformed into the clean surface.

Paulo Coelho


Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'la

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Tim Allen

Trust

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care a

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Tim Allen

Car

I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Tim Allen

Positive

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an a

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Tim Allen

Funny

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

Tim Allen

Car

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Tim Allen

Women