Jay London Quotes

A collection of quotes by Jay London.

Jay London is a stand-up comedian known for his deadpan delivery and unique sense of humor. Born in 1966, he gained popularity through his appearances on shows like "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and "Last Comic Standing." With his distinctive look and dry wit, London has captivated audiences with his offbeat observations and clever one-liners. His comedic style has made him a beloved figure in the comedy world, and he continues to entertain audiences with his quirky and hilarious performances.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, a

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt in

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my pe

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minu

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the hi

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on moo

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.