There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
Home is pretty utopian.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
The only risk of failure is promotion.
I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.
A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule.
The best things in life are silly.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.
The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
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