I sat down on the sofa, surrounded by years of coffee rings and sandwich stains. If the police ever did a DNA test on this sofa, it would be ninety per cent disappointment.

Summary

This quote describes the state of the speaker's sofa, reflecting the wear and tear it has experienced over time. The coffee rings and sandwich stains serve as evidence of the sofa's long history of being used and abused. The humor in the statement lies in the metaphorical DNA test, as it conveys that if the sofa's genetic makeup were analyzed, it would mostly consist of disappointment. This suggests that the sofa has witnessed numerous unfulfilled aspirations or failed expectations, highlighting the speaker's wry sense of melancholy and the perceived uneventful nature of their life.

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