Lewis Black Quotes

A collection of quotes by Lewis Black.

Lewis Black is an American comedian, author, and actor, best known for his passionate and animated comedic style. Born on August 30, 1948, in Washington, D.C., Black developed an early interest in comedy and theater, which he pursued while studying at the University of North Carolina and Yale School of Drama. After completing his studies, he began performing stand-up comedy in the late 1980s.

Known for his intense and often angry rants about a wide range of political and social topics, Black gained widespread recognition through his appearances on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." His unique brand of humor, characterized by a combination of satire and exasperation, has made him a sought-after comedian who frequently performs in front of sold-out crowds.

Aside from his successful stand-up career, Lewis Black has also dabbled in acting. He has made appearances in films such as "The Aristocrats" and lent his voice to characters in animated movies like "Inside Out" and "Unaccompanied Minors." Additionally, he has written numerous books, including "Nothing's Sacred" and "I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas."

Throughout his career, Lewis Black has received several accolades for his comedic talent, including Grammy Awards for his comedy albums. Renowned for his explosive on-stage persona and sharp wit, he continues to entertain audiences with his unfiltered and passionate comedic performances.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look,

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are al

Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

Inspirational Individuality Comedy

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.

Health

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer.

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!

Men

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Funny

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd ex

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.

Morning

When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down un

When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down until you get to the end of the row.

Smile

When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down un

When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down until you get to the end of the row.

Smile

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the b

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

Politics

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. An

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'

Dad

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

Christmas