David Sedaris Quotes

A collection of quotes by David Sedaris.

David Sedaris is an American humorist, author, and radio contributor, born on December 26, 1956, in Johnson City, New York. Known for his witty and self-deprecating style, Sedaris has gained widespread recognition for his humorous and often autobiographical essays and stories.

Sedaris rose to prominence in the 1990s with his collection of essays, "Barrel Fever," which showcased his unique and irreverent storytelling. His subsequent works, including "Naked," "Me Talk Pretty One Day," and "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim," further solidified his reputation as a master of humorous observation and social commentary.

His writing often draws inspiration from his own life experiences, particularly his upbringing in a large and eccentric Greek-American family, his time spent living abroad, and his struggles with addiction. With his sharp wit and knack for finding humor in the mundane, Sedaris has captivated readers and audiences alike.

Sedaris' work has received numerous accolades, including the Thurber Prize for American Humor and the Lambda Literary Award. Additionally, he has been a frequent contributor to National Public Radio (NPR), where he often shares his humorous anecdotes and personal essays.

David Sedaris continues to write and perform, with his work garnering a cult-like following. His ability to find humor in the everyday and his unapologetically honest approach to storytelling have made him one of the most beloved humorists of his generation.

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. T

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide t

Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the dullest possible answer.

Humor Funny Science

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' becaus

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry.

Time Love Thetimes

My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate

My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.

Truth Acceptance Hatred Self Worth

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they w

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

Family

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but s

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

Change

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write i

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.

Morning

But most good movies have a gun in them.

But most good movies have a gun in them.

Movies

Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to ir

Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

Truth

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

Family

Sick of lame ducks, use Cosmic Ordering and your ducks will

Sick of lame ducks, use Cosmic Ordering and your ducks will lay golden eggs.

Stephen Richards

Money

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arran

It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'

Birthday

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

Funny

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to thi

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

Funny

I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a w

I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.

Movies

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartm

After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.

Art