Absurd Quotes

Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup.

Jarod Kintz

I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.?

Jarod Kintz

If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).

Jarod Kintz

I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that.

Jarod Kintz

I made myself an I Love Jennifer jacket out of my old I Love Jenn jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say. ?

Jarod Kintz

He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.?

Jarod Kintz

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.?

Jarod Kintz

Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.

William Goldman

God is the supreme uncreated light of which Wisdom is born, but there was never a time when God's Wisdom did not exist.

Merritt Y. Hughes

Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. ?

Jarod Kintz

Beauty is a whore, I like money better.

Michael Cunningham

You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.

Jarod Kintz

My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica? ?

Jarod Kintz

A gas station pump/jukebox. Look, my car runs on 80s music!

Jarod Kintz

Humans are creatures, who spent their lifes trying to convince themselves, that their existence is not absurd

Albert Camus

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Steven Wright

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

Steven Wright

A partir do momento em que é reconhecido, o absurdo é uma paixão, a mais dilacerante de todas.

Albert Camus

Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable.

Albert Camus

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?

Steven Wright