Funny Quotes

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Jay Leno

I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny.

Mayim Bialik

It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.

Seth Green

Some of the writers I admire who seem very, very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind, as does David Sedaris. When they write, the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

Sloane Crosley

I think I would say 'The King's Speech' is surprisingly funny, in fact the audiences in London, Toronto, LA, New York commented there's more laughter in this film than in most comedies, while it is also a moving tear-jerker with an uplifting ending.

Tom Hooper

So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.

Cassandra Clare

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Eddie Izzard

When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.

Scott Thompson

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Arthur Smith

Everybody's funny if you love them.

Anna Torv

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone

It's a funny old world.

Margaret Thatcher

Acting is all about big hair and funny props... All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it.

Harold Ramis

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

Lucille Ball

And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.

James Denton

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Elayne Boosler

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

Jay London

Take life seriously but none of the people in it.

Kurt Vonnegut

If we are going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don't know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of them left, and I don't want them to die of excitement.

Cassandra Clare

It would hardly benefit me to hold anything back unnecessarily, when I know what I'm asking. For you to find a needle in--God, not even a haystack. A needle in a tower full of other needles.

Cassandra Clare