Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
You are not showing her my baby pictures! He sounded horrified, which made me laugh. Come on, Evan, I teased with a laughing smile, you were adorable.
Rebecca Donovan
No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth.
Sara Shepard
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
Marian Keyes
Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast.
Logan Pearsall Smith
I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that.
Campbell Scott
May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch
Keisha Keenleyside
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
Lily Tomlin
Writer's block' is just a fancy way of saying 'I don't feel like doing any work today.
Meagan Spooner
YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,'said the dewdrop to the lake.
Rabindranath Tagore
There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.
Woody Allen
Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.
Scott Adams
All men have their frailties; and whoever looks for a friend without imperfections, will never find what he seeks.
Cyrus the Great
If you are not in charge of your life, who is?
Val Edward Simone
You know that feeling you get when you pass by a cop doing like 20 over, when your stomach hits the floor and you get weak in the knees and it seams like time just stops for a min? Thats how i feel every time i see her. I love it.
Andrew Vyvyan
Writing is like a lump of coal. Put it under enough pressure and polish it enough and you might just end up with a diamond. Otherwise, you can burn it to keep warm.
A.J. Dalton
And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.
Charlaine Harris
When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
Mark Twain
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
Peter De Vries
Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
Patrick Ness
Always remember rule #6... don't take yourself so damn seriously
Ben and Rosamund Zander
