Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
I don't care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won't get you out of this school.
Orson Scott Card
Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.
Terry Pratchett
Humor is tragedy plus time.
Mark Twain
She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.
Charles Dickens
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable.
Joel Coen
Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
Douglas Noel Adams
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare theneighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to getout of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
People are funny, and in the most tragic situations, when comedy erupts from nowhere, it can turn on its head within the space of a second or a minute. You're laughing one minute and you're crying the next and that's just life for me, and that is what people are like.
Sally Hawkins
No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.
Annie Leibovitz
Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
O honorable strumpet
William Shakespeare
Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.
What you see is what you see
Frank Stella
It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.
You might want to put some clothes on' suggested Jace 'I'm all for the bra and panties look, but you don't want the Silent Brothers to die of excitement
Cassandra Clare
