Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
Laurence J. Peter
It's funny, because when you're younger you're in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows?
Mark Wahlberg
It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.
Zora Neale Hurston
Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
Lee Trevino
Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.
Julia Sweeney
It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?
Steve Hackett
I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn't that funny? The tables have turned.
Kristen Bell
I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.
Karl Lagerfeld
Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them would be funny.
Mike Myers
I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people.
Petra Nemcova
Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Mark Twain
I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid they told me I was being funny.
Jim Carrey
Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.
Harold Ramis
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.
Steven Wright
I will make thee think thy swan a crow.
William Shakespeare
It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
Terry Pratchett
Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it.
Oscar Wilde
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When I was born the doctor turned me upside down and said, my god twins
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
