Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
'Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are, or respond to them as provocation, then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.
Michael Haneke
Thou art a very ragged Wart.
William Shakespeare
Witnesses in my dream can place me in my bed, asleep, at the time of the murder.
Jarod Kintz
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Terry Pratchett
The only thing houseflies fear more than the Venus fly trap isthe hanging plant.
Steven Wright
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else'sproperty.
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
Mark Twain
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blow onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind. -Algernon
Oscar Wilde
The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.
Billy Corgan
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
Robert Orben
It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end.
Bjork
Today I dialed a wrong number...The other person said, Hello? and I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey?...They said, Uh...I don't think so...he's only 2 months old. I said, I'll wait.
Purkey is the source of this quotation that is attributed to many others: it was made popular in the song Come From The Heart written by Susannah Clark and Richard Leigh. Purkey closed his speeches with this poem and it has now made it into the public d
Bertrand Russell
I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell...except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window...
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.
He would make a good lamp post if he'd weather better and didn't have to eat.
Kurt Vonnegut
