Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Humor.
I don't need someone with a hot body. He can be fat or overweight and have a belly. It's very much about style and substance and humor, interest, curiosity and really being smart.
Kate Walsh
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building... Ichanged my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over andlanded on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happenedand one turned to the other and said, See, that's how it'sdone.
Steven Wright
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said...did you see the guy that did it? She said ... No, but I got the license plate.
Rodney Dangerfield
Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
Allen Klein
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
They who suspect a Mephistophiles, or sneering, satirical devil, under all, have not learned the secret of true humor, which sympathizes with gods themselves, in view of their grotesque, half-finished creatures.
Henry David Thoreau
Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a tshirt with a bulls eye on the back.
To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.
Gelett Burgess
I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor.
Lord Nelson
The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.
Cassandra Clare
James Carstairs! Jem! Where are you, you disloyal bastard?
Humor comes from self-confidence.
Rita Mae Brown
Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?
J.K. Rowling
I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.
John Green
I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
Terry Pratchett
During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.
Tutti gli animali sono uguali, ma alcuni sono più uguali degli altri
George Orwell
