Sarcasm Quotes

While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way.

Cassandra Clare

It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferior---her father gave her away---her mother stood with salts in her hand expecting to be agitated---her aunt tried to cry--- and the service was impressively read by Dr. Grant.

Jane Austen

I admire all my three sons-in-law highly. Wickham, perhaps is my favourite; but I think I shall like your husband quite as well as Jane's.

Jane Austen

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

Cassandra Clare

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it.

Oscar Wilde

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace

Cassandra Clare

All right. The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.

John Green

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

Cassandra Clare

If then, Moses so distinctly announces that there is in us not only a faculty, but also a facility for keeping all commandments, why are we sweating so much? ... What need is there now of Christ or of Spirit? We have found a passage that asserts freedom of choice, but also distinctly teaches that the keeping of the commandments is easy.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.

Cassandra Clare

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following you.Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me?

Cassandra Clare

Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.

Cassandra Clare

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...Yes, they do that, said Dumbledore.

J.K. Rowling

n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Ambrose Bierce

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it),...

Stephen King

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?

John Green