Funny Quotes

If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

Marlon Wayans

My own business always bores me to death. I prefer other people's.

Oscar Wilde

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Elayne Boosler

What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.

Scott Hamilton

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson

I do find comedy difficult. I don't know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny.

Michelle Pfeiffer

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Jerry Lewis

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Warren Buffett

What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Dianna Agron

Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don't look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny.

Candace Bushnell

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.

Daryl Hall

There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.

Dave Navarro

I would love to play 'Funny Girl' or 'Evita,' but I idolize the women who have played those parts. I don't know if there needs to be another version of those shows.

Idina Menzel

This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!

Vanessa Hudgens

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

Demetri Martin

I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.

Chris O'Dowd

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Lewis Black

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Bill Cosby

The people I grew up around who I really liked were quick on the draw. It always just wowed me. And my mum would make weird funny comments. I can see in myself her self-deprecating, hippie humour. I can't take myself too seriously.

Drew Barrymore