Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Humor.
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be.
Josh Gad
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare theneighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to getout of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
Terry Pratchett
Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater understanding of the British sense of humor, but I don't think it's all that different than the American sense of humor.
Simon Pegg
O honorable strumpet
William Shakespeare
Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.
What you see is what you see
Frank Stella
It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.
You might want to put some clothes on' suggested Jace 'I'm all for the bra and panties look, but you don't want the Silent Brothers to die of excitement
Cassandra Clare
The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
Alfred North Whitehead
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
The only thing houseflies fear more than the Venus fly trap isthe hanging plant.
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else'sproperty.
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blow onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind. -Algernon
Oscar Wilde
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
