Humor Quotes

We will meet; and there we may rehearse mostobscenely and courageously.Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream. Spoken by Bottom, Act I Sc. 2

William Shakespeare

There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing

Jane Austen

...If you'd like to go back in there and try kicking him, I recommend aiming upward and a bit to the left--

Cassandra Clare

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

Larry Gelbart

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.

Mignon McLaughlin

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

Erma Bombeck

Feature-length film comedy is harder to pull off than the episodic sitcom - it doesn't have the same factory machinery up and running, teams of writers putting familiar characters through permutations - but that doesn't explain the widening quality gap that makes movie humor look like a genetic defective.

James Wolcott

I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy.

Nicole Appleton

Advertisers also know that humor can help bond us to their product.

Allen Klein

I'll do humor about myself, I'll poke fun and everything, but that's me and I can do it to me. I think it's cruel to do it to somebody else.

Delta Burke

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.

Steven Wright

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.

Terry Pratchett

Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it.

Oscar Wilde

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Steven Wright

When I was born the doctor turned me upside down and said, my god twins

Rodney Dangerfield

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

Steven Wright

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Terry Pratchett

Humor is tragedy plus time.

Mark Twain

Sense of humor is important in life, not just in clothing. How boring to live a life in beige.

Jean Pigozzi

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

Charles Dickens