Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.
Jeff Ross
There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
Kevin James
Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.
Tom Hiddleston
So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.
Emily Mortimer
It's funny that it all becomes about clothes. It's bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it's all about your dress. You can't get away from it.
Reese Witherspoon
Victor Vigny: A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.Conor Broekhart: Which resembles a giant banana.
Eoin Colfer
We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
Douglas Adams
The most pleasant and alluring curve on a woman is the smile
Treasure Stitches
Okay is BURSTING with sensuality
John Green
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
Adlai E. Stevenson
Sometimes laughing isn't the best judge of what's funny, 'cause I think there's a lot of things that are really funny that don't make you laugh, that don't make you physically, audibly make a noise, but is something that is much more powerful than that.
Tim Heidecker
That's a funny thing, fame. People definitely do treat you differently. When you begin to be successful, people say, 'Don't go changing.' Well, that's easy to say, but the fact is, you don't change at all - other people do.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
Nigella Lawson
Oh! to shoot for the stars if feels right. Aim for my heart if it feels right.
Maroon 5
I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
Steven Wright
Nothing great is ever accomplished by following standards.
Geoffroy Birtz
If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.
Gilles Deleuze
I feel my brains, like a pear, to see if it's ripe; it will be exquisite by September.
Virginia Woolf
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
Dale Carnegie
