Browse through our collection of quotes tagged with Funny.
You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I'm a black actor, so I can't really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great.
Jamie Foxx
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
Vera Wang
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes...
I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'
Isaac Asimov
Although initially only few in numbers, it seems my gray hairs have launched an effective peer-pressure campaign intended to convert the others.
Steve Maraboli
My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.
Mike Myers
My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm goingto move to New York.
The play was a great success, but the audience was a total failure
Oscar Wilde
Romantic literature is in effect imaginative lying.
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!
Terry Pratchett
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
Kurt Vonnegut
You're Valentine's son. I'm sure you're the one the Queen really wants to see. Besides, you're charming. Maybe not at the moment.
Cassandra Clare
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
Mark Twain
Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.
Neil Gaiman
Never f*!k with the ineffable.
The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That's happened a lot. Or they're often purely victims.
Ezra Miller
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
Joe Rogan
