Funny Quotes

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

Mitch Hedberg

Women's humor seems to be a little more supportive. It's just kind of trying to make the other one laugh through funny voices and kind of talking about other people. I respond to that. I feel less like I'm going to get beat up in a room full of women than I do in a room full of guys.

Paul Feig

You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.

Eminem

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

Larry David

When people are very quotable, it can make it harder to listen to what they actually have to say.

Maciej Cegłowski

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

George Burns

I grew up in a funny way.

Gordon Ramsay

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Clint Eastwood

I think one of the basic tasks in life - one of the nice things we can do for each other - is to take things that are horrible and scary and make them acceptable and less frightening and, if possible, funny. It feels great to succeed at that.

Julia Sweeney

I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.

Wallace Shawn

The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things, but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.

Jonathan Safran Foer

I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.

Seann William Scott

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Paula Poundstone

It's funny, but we were living on this small island off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina when I was 9.

Josh Lucas

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

David Spade

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.

Steve Coogan

It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.

Julia Roberts

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Jimmy Fallon

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

David Brenner